The birth of Mason Kai

I'm writing this because as Mason gets past the one week mark, I am already finding that the day we first met is getting fuzzier. I'm remembering things I thought I'd slept through (hello gas!) and forgetting things I thought I'd never be rid of.

On the 10th of June, Monday night, at 7pm, at 40 + 6 days pregnant, we dropped by Macdonalds for some nutritional dinner before heading to the hospital for our scheduled induction. With more nerves and butterflies in my belly than I've ever experienced, we were admitted and by 7.30pm they were monitoring his heartbeat and I was guts up watching The Block on TV. 

At 8pm, the gel was inserted to get my cervix going. Luke and I giggled at the idea that we would be parents soon. In my head I expected I would have a snooze for the next few hours and hopefully wake up to some nice contractions.

Well.. Mason had some plans of his own. At around 10 minutes after the gel was inserted, I said to Luke "Preeeetty sue I just had a contraction!" Both of us got really excited and I grabbed my phone to start timing them. 

We soon realised they were coming hard and fast. A minute and 26 seconds were as far apart as they ever were. 

At around 10pm, I took up the offer for some gas as pain relief. I'm not sure it did anything other than dull my senses because the pain was still well and truly in my back and by midnight I jumped into the bath for more relief.

Outside, the shopping channel rambles on.

Trashing around in that bath tub (hi bruises to my left and right shoulder) and watching my husband tear up because he couldn't make the pain go away will probably be something I will never forget. Everytime a contraction rolled through, a primal sound left my mouth and I became a person I probably wouldn't recognise.

Everything past this point became hazy. Between the gas and the pain, I don't remember who was in the room with me and what the time was when my OB came in to tell me I was only 5cm dilated and that if I didn't have an epidural, there was no way I'd have the energy to push my baby out. At this point I remember crying and apologising to Luke, he kissed my forehead and told me not to be silly and that he loved me. He also went on to inform me it had been 12 hours and I needed some rest.

The anaesthetist came into the room and because of how I was only getting about 45 seconds between each contraction, the first epidural didn't work.. After the second attempt, I was able to rest while only feeling mild cramping through each contraction.

At 12pm, I asked to be checked again. I was still only 5cm. Mason's heart rate started dropping. We had to get him out.

Another curveball - an emergency c-section. How had everything managed to get so out of hand? An induction, an epidural, an emergency c-section? What happened to my labour playlist? My birth plan? They still sat in my bag as I got prepped for a major surgery. 

Our family arrived and Luke let them know about the cascade of events that had taken place since the last time they saw us. After we had Mason, my mom told me that Luke was basically in tears telling them about the pain I was in. Makes my heart ache in all sorts of places.

1pm came along and they wheeled me away to get prepped for our c-section. I remember realising I was going to meet my son now. That no matter how much "off the plan" we'd gone, soon this little boy I'd dreamt so many times about, was going to be in my arms.

That afternoon, our beautiful boy entered this world. He didn't cry right away so they had him on the resuscitation machine for a little bit. Then he let out this mighty roar. His daddy cut his cord and he was placed on my chest for a good half hour as they sewed me back up. It was... delicious. My chubby bub screamed and screamed. We wished him a happy birthday and told him it was totally understandable he wasn't too impressed with going from a nice dark, warm room out into this cold, bright place.

I headed to recovery. Which would now be known as the worst hour of my life. Is there anything worse than lying in a bed in a ward by yourself while your husband and your brand spanking new baby was off on the other side of the building? I might as well have been there for 20 years.

When I finally made it up to my room, everyone was there. They'd had cuddles with him. My wide-eyed boy. He gave everyone a good stare, as if to pair them up to the voices he'd heard the last 9 months. He was so alert, it astonished me. He latched on for a feed and stared at me the entire time. It's like he knew me.

As I write this, tears roll down my face. Reliving that experience just in typeform triggers something inside me I can't explain. So no, I didn't have the birth of my dreams. I am in the category of women who had to have pain relief and then a c section.

But then I look at this tiny human being and none of that matters. He is here, he is healthy and he is ours, forever. In those last weeks when I felt like I'd never not be pregnant (Oh yeah, I'm a drama queen), it never occurred to me how beautiful and surreal this would feel.

My first born. My son. You will never know the ends to which I would go for you.