"The most difficult part of birth is the first year afterwards.
It is the year of travail - when the soul of a woman must birth the mother inside her.
The emotional labour pains of becoming a mother are far greater than the physical pangs of birth; these are the growing surges of your heart as it pushes out selfishness and fear and makes room for sacrifice and love.
It is a private and silent birth of the soul, but it is no less holy than the event of childbirth, perhaps it is even more sacred."
- Joy Kusek
I read this on Jodi's blog over a year ago and it never left me. Today Mason is one. And I know around the world, there are people having birthdays and having babies.
But a year ago today.. in one hospital theatre on a cold, wet Wintery day, 2 people were born. Mason, a big, swollen, red little boy.. Whose loud ringing cry was the soundtrack to the birth of me. Me the mother.
One year into this motherhood gig and I have to say, while it has kicked my butt on more than one occasion.. It truly is all its cracked up to be. Mason's first year will forever be known as the quickest 365 days of my life. Nothing is more vulnerable than parenthood. Everyday, a portion of your heart. An actual piece of your heart, is just out here in the world. Walking around (well, mostly crawling). It isn't kept safe within the confines of your rib cage. It isn't tucked nice and warm inside where it's protected. Everyday you literally convince yourself to be the best version possible because, if not... what else?
When I was 12 and romanticized about being a mother, when we were trying to conceive and I believed that seeing those two lines would be all I ever needed, when I was at the tail end of my pregnancy and told myself that once I had this baby in my arms my life would be complete..
All those times.
I was right. My life is truly complete..
Happy birthday, Mason.