Flashback: A scare

I wrote some posts when we found out were pregnant but couldn't tell anyone. I had so many emotions running through me and needed a space to release them. It's great being able to share them now, re-reading them and getting to relive the moments.

Written 28th September 2012

Baby Beanut,

Two nights ago, mama had a bit of cramps. Being the worry-wort that I am (you will soon learn this and I will always endeavour to worry less), I called my doctor and was referred for an ultrasound scheduled for this afternoon.

I went alone cause your dad is back up north again and everyone else was at work, I was totally okay with this. Having read in my baby book a few days ago that by 6 weeks we can usually see something on the ultrasound, I was a little bit excited but tried to hold it in (like I tried with my wee. Baby, did you know they make all the pregnant mamas get a full belly of wee before going in for an ultrasound? Ooooh, uncomfortable).

I laid down on the bed and the lovely ultrasound technician applied some warmed gel on my belly and away she went. On a little hunt for you.

We didn't find anything.

We looked some more for another couple of minutes and found nothing.

Then we did a transvaginal (Nasty stuff, beanut. Nasty Stuff) one as well.

Nothing.

It was awful, Beanut. Mama just about broke down right there if I wasn't trying to hold on to my wee (and emotions) so hard. The lady was very lovely and took a look at my blood test results.

Apparently, doctors aren't all they're cracked up to be! Our GP made a boo boo, my darling. Having seen my blood test results, she declined to mention that according to my HCG levels, that I was only barely 2 weeks when I had the test done (21st Sept). Meaning there was no way an ultrasound would detect anything at this time.

It just means mama gets to have you in my belly longer than I thought. You don't worry about anything though. You just grow. Grow like the little weed you are :)